Posted by Leslie Zeigler
I just want to share a brief bit of information related to dealing with naysayers. In my coaching with our client Gail today ( as I have stated before, she is very comfortable in allowing us to post about our work as she wants to be helpful in getting this info to others), she gave me another gem of an example of a comment from one of her Prime Naysayers. It is someone in her life who may not intentionally recognize the impact these kinds of statements can have on people. But this time she was told “You’re never going to publish a book.” Rather than feeling like giving up or being discouraged, she had a slight and siginificant shift in her mindset. She did feel put down, BUT told me “I HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD.” It felt so good to hear her say that.
We are all vulnerable to feeling upset when on the receiving end of a very deflating comment. I know it makes me feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach.
Words can really matter. We all feel better when we hear words of encouragement, rather than harsh or critical words. We can’t prevent ourselves from coming in contact with naysayers, but we can learn how to develop a better way to talk to ourselves.
We can try to send our Inner Critic to therapy. If that doesn’t work, we can get a book on mindfulness, and try that as a way of learning how to talk to ourselves in a more compassionate way. If that doesn’t work, maybe one day they will develop a surgical procedure for transforming highly harsh inner critics into kind and loving inner critics (just like gastric bypass!)