In a recent discussion with my coaching client Gail’s husband about creativity some interesting ideas began to emerge. (Both Gail and her husband have given me permission to blog about this.) Our discussion began when I was curious about what his definition of creativity was. He said in a very certain tone of voice without any hesitation, “It’s PLAYFULNESS. ” I had no idea at the beginning of our conversation that we would soon be talking about creative blocks , depression and why he has difficulty beginning to commit to his deeply treasured buried dream of writing a memoir. Soon after he shared that with me he let me in on his style of communicating that he called “birdwalking”. He said he knows that he jumps around like a sparrow. He added, “to me there is creativity in that.” I asked him to tell me more about this memoir he wants to write about but has not actually ever started. He replied, “I’d like to write something that would crystallize the lessons of my own life in a way that could last.”
I then asked, “So what gets in the way?” He shared that it is partly his perfectionism and partly his pattern of getting easily distracted. He then reflected and added that the single most difficult obstacle was his life-long struggle with chronic depression that began in adolescence. He does not think people are creative when they are depressed. He gave Van Gogh as an example – he did not paint when he was depressed, but when he was in recovery, even while in an insane asylum. He does, however, feel there may be a link for those who suffer from manic depression, because some people claim they do their best work while in the manic phase.
I did want to probe further what stopped him. “Well, it becomes hard work to actually start to write a memoir. So you lose the playfulness.”
For the time being our conversation is on pause. I am very interested in trying to understand the relationship between the desire to be playful and the necessity of engaging in a discplined ritual if one wants to actually commit to writing (or any creative endeavor).